Thursday, December 2, 2010

When The Flush got mind F**ked...

It's been a long fuckin time.

Being completely drunk,
Right now....
all i am asking for is the liberty to have atlast some fuckin spelling mistakes... allowed...!!
I am not a fuckin spelling bee competition champion...!!
all i am asking for is some fuckin MERCY..!!

It's some place.... in life...
We always end up in shit.
it's not like wife, fiancee, girl-friend, fuckfriend...who gives us shit all the time,
but expects no bull-shit anytime.
There is no esscaping.... as Danny V always says.
Sitting in the cum-board... that;s ht they call it here though..!!

here we shit every fuckin time... One hundred percent.
Six Sigma, even better then the dabawallahs...
never in a six million , o we ever forget or miss it...!!
Toilet. Flush.
rememeber the bell. Aambrushhhhhhhhhhh.

the sound that clears all our shit.
Ctrl + Alt + Del.
end of story.....

"What if your bathroom flush is not working..??"


(when the bathroom flush dosent work, then all your shit just ...... remains.!! )
what do you do then...??

what do you do when...???
when the salary is not enough..??
when the house is not enough..??
when the life is not enough..??
Dh**ti... iamjusttypingthisshitjusttomakeapoint...remember.!!

i was supposed to post FALLENISMS - NOVEMBER - 2010,
in relevance to reality and all iam am left with is.... this fuckin post.
was gonna get int some deep shit philosopy now...... and my flush just fuckin stopped working.

99% is in my blood.

gotta stop this shit  before i crap in my pants.

to be continued...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Non-Alcoholic, 1st Time...

I dunno what to say,
Probably becoz,  For the 1st time,  the fallen hero is blogging Undrunk..!!

They say, alcohol gets out the tiger inside you..
But chronic Alcoholism gets out the soft side of the fallen hero…
Like a cat on a hot tin roof. Dingling n babbling.
An empty vessel making a lot of loud noise.
But this vessel was not always empty…

Started a couple of years back,
Slowly slowly, one by one the drops started drying up…
Some drops dried up on purpose,
Some self dried up, all alone by themselves,
But most of them were Dried up by others….
They couldn’t see me full, Could they..??
People ask questions.
Why the fuck do people ask questions…??

Then… there was some more drying up of the drops inside the Fallen hero’s vessel…
Until when,  where there were just a few drops left…
and that’s when the fallen hero fills it up again….
With alcohol. Period.

"Rather have a vessel filled with alcohol,
                                          than be an empty vessel"

Making loud noise…
If loud noise is what you want to make, rather make it on a full vessel…
Then people might say,

"Full vessels make a lot of noise…"

Vessels full of energy, full of power, full of optimism,
full of positivity, full of life and confidence….
Excuse me…

I rather stick to being an empty vessel…
Please fill me with alcohol…

99% is in my blood, let there be atleast 1% alcohol…
The fallen hero….

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

When Old Monk took over Dsp Black

11th August 2010 (some time very late, somewhere completely drunk)
Today, On this date, Old monk (XXX Rum) took over Dsp Black (Regular Whiskey)

11th August 1983
Exactly 27 years ago, on this same day, The girl who took over me, was born.

There was no special reason to drink tonite…Nowadays, i don't need reasons to drink.
I  had just returned from a chronically alcoholic weekend.
Being the first day of the week today, was just heading towards the train station after an hectic day at the office when i met an old school friend, cigarettes were lit, the same old crowded train discussion, the same old "what's new" inquisitiveness and the same old alcoholically oriented  question...
“ any plan..??”

We finished the peace pipe, He started his  bike,
with me behind as a pilion and the plan began.

"Old monk quarter, thums up 500ml…" Our 1st order.

Times change, cicumstances change, needs change and with time,
I started forgetting you...
But I also forgot myself somewhere along the way…
Somewhere along the way, I had stopped. Ceased to exist.
99% was not in my blood, it had become my blood.
And just there I had stayed all these years like in a cocoon. Had made a protective shell around myself. Living in a dream. A dream in which I was the hero.
But here, I was all alone. There was no space for anyone else.
Or rather no-one wanted to take that space, atleast that’s what I felt and kept saying myself.
There was space... but I alone was occupying up all of it.
Fearing that if I share my space to anyone else...
Sooner or later that person would take over me and one day leave…
Just the way you left…. Giving me all the space I required…
Atleast I thought I required….

" Everybody needs space. uh... umm.. shall we repeat the order",  my school friend asked. "Another Old Monk quarter, thums up 500ml",  I repeated the order.

Habits die, feelings die, people die….. and things are taken over by other things.

"Extinction preceeds evolution"

When we get something new, it shines in the sun. We wear sun glasses, and behind the glasses, We smirk. We are proud of our new possession. And we feel the urge to flaunt it, care for it and love it. Be the possession be a new bike, a new house, a new watch, a new job,a new pair of sun-glasses or even a new girlfriend.
You were my first girl-friend and i didn't even have a pair of sunglasses then.
But i did love my possessions and you were my most prized possession.
I did love you from the first day itself. That's the reason i had proposed to you...
Remember, You probably will not..!!
However, with time, things get old and rusty. They get boring and start nagging.
Sex isn't all that great either... you get the point.
And that's when our heads start turning towards other new things.
Other things which are better...
Now, these new things are all the more convenient, effective, beautiful, understanding and definitely more caring, and most of all cheap…

"Hey what time is it...??", i asked him.
He was intently listening to every word coming out of my mouth, his ears were probably working even harder than his mouth which was gulping down the old monk thums up kick fuckin ass combination, and now probably he was hungry. Hungry for food and more food for thought.
"Forget the time,  but how can it be cheap..??" he asked.
I'll explain, shall we repeat the order" , i asked him
"Ek Old Monk quarter, ek thumb up 500 ml, ek plate chakli aur green chatni", he ordered our third round.

Cheap, what cheap..?? love is not cheap and girls are definitely not cheap.
Oh yes they are...!!
 I mean boys are the cheapest. If we have a cheapest among the sexes competition.
Then we boys will win without any comptition from girls.
But even girls are cheap. A girl walking on the street looks at a girl riding pilion on a bike, who looks at a girl sitting in a small car, who looks at a girl sitting in a big car, so on and so forth.
Girls are cheap. Period.

I fucked it up didn’t i….
Such a beautiful way of unveiling a tale and such a cheap end, Afterall.
Our chronicles usually have a cheap end…
Atleast the fallen hero does..

So here's my chronicle
She took over me in 1998
Left me in 2004
I took over myself in 2005
Took white mischief in 2006
Took DSP Black in 2008
And DSP Black was taken over by Old monk in 2010

Exactly on her birthday…11th August.
Happy birthday…

"Shall order some more old monk.
Another Old Monk quarter and thums up 500ml... and make it quick...!!".

Cheers to taking over... cheers to Old Monk...!!
The fallen hero
99% is in my blood

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Fallenisms : October 2010

Fallenisms is a completely non original piece of dark side of the human satire or otherwise. Copied, ripped, pirated, flicked, translated, hacked, derived, assumed and imitated short takes on life through the eyes of the fallen hero…
Fallenisms now in it's 3rd month, but i still retain my take...!!
Nothing is original, Not even me.
Atleast that’s what i tell myself month on month ...
                                                                                               -- The fallen hero

"Some days you are just a statue 
            but some days you are the pigeon" 

"If grass is greener on the other side, 
Great, let's go there & smoke-up"

Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism

 "The universe is just a waste of space"

A poor man is nothing but a rich man without money.

"There are two different types of people in the world, those who finish what they start and..."

"Reality is a hallucination you will get... 
                                          ...due to lack of alcohol"

"Professionals are predictable,
It's the amateurs that are dangerous"

"When i speak the truth, it sounds like some foreign language..."


Sunday, September 19, 2010

Relevance to Reality : September 2010

Somewhere deep under water...

This is my first post on "Relevance to reality"
From now on, it will be a regular feature on this blog.
Relevance to reality will be posted once a month. every month.
(Mostly last Sunday of the month. please check the "what to expect this month" section)

Here, i will blog reality.
current issues, contemporary concerns
Some questions answered, some answers without any explainable questions.
Something by the youth, of the youth, for the youth.
Fuck the youth.
The GenNext wants to fuck you, fuck them before you get fucked.
A simple question.
Questions always kept me from progressing in school,
excelling in college and growing excelling and progressing altogether in life....
Basically becoming a hero. A hero, which everyone dreams of becoming one fine day...
One fuckin fine day, you wanna get up and have the answer all the fuckin questions.
Start here...
Why do people ask questions. That is your first question and your journey begins here...
Questions like...
what is  the meaning of life...?? why are we on this earth...??
Such questions never interested me. To shallow or maybe they were just too deep for me.
Maybe they were too big for me, maybe i was too big for my boots.
I have always cared two hoots... oh fuck... or shall i say oh fish.

When i was a kid, verbal abuses were a big taboo. We weren't permitted to say oh fuck,
It was considered very abusive.
Although, oh fish..! was allowed. This term "oh fish" was perfectly alright.
It didn't mean anything, maybe just a reference or rememberance to some fuckin fish.
Was verbally harmless and so..... oh fish remained...

I am a keen aquarist, i love keeping fish, breeding them, caring for them...
I also love eating them, they are delicious. Basically i love fish
I believe in The Maximum Utilisation of the Available Resources.
If i love 'em, i love 'em. If i have to use 'em, i will use 'em. Simple.
I am a Piscean.
Timid, Sweet, Slicky, Very Sippery & Very Cold-blooded.
Just like a fish. oh fish...!!
Even my Murder is like margarine, and my con is cute, Cute but Cold Blooded.
And i always manage to slip, As slippery as a fish.
I don't mind conning a cancer patient. As long as my art is appreciated.
The Art of Con.
They say you can't trust a Cat, a Lawyer, an ex-wife, a Boss, yourself..... and a fish.

I have had a couple of drinks tonite and a couple of fish tanks in my lifetime.
Gold-fish, flowerhorn, guppies, malawi cichilids, green terror, jewel chichilid,
Pakistani Loach, Ramarosie... had em all...!! had old monk thums up tonite
Angels and Discus..... hate them.. and i hate Fosters beer.
Too slow and majestic for me.
I need something real. Fuck Fosters beer.

One Real Question.
Ask this question to yourself, Alone.
I have been taking interviews since last 4 years and i am just 28 now.
28 running but  little tired now, becoming a little slow now.
Started a little young you see...!!
One fuckin question.

Would you be a rather be a big fish in a small pond
or a small fish in a big pond ?

A young boy, fresh out of college, big dreams, but one dilema, getting the first job...!!
His first break, his career cracker.
" you will not ever earn more than 4,000 per month as your first job"
" Arre, This is what Bsc third class graduates get. You should have done engineering..!!"
" You had all the chances in the world and you messed it up"
"You and only you are to be blamed for this"
"Clerk, clerk in a bank" , " Sales executive" , " " Medical representative"
This is what he had heard in the last three days since his board exams had finished.

"One lakh thirty four thousand a year without incentives....
With incentives you can earn upto four thousand more a month... but that depends....
on your performance"

These were the exact words he had heard after his first actual interview,
The interviewer said in a very soft and confident tone,
after the interview at Intelenet global services back in 2004.
He was asked this same question and since then this question had stayed with him.
"Would you rather be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond ? "

"I would rather own the pond",  i had answered, back then.
A chance to be somewhere deep underwater, i chose to remain at the shore...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Fallenisms : September 2010

Fallenisms is a completely non original piece of dark side of the human satire or otherwise. Copied, ripped, pirated, flicked, translated, hacked, derived, assumed and imitated short takes on life through the eyes of the fallen hero…
Nothing is original, Not even me.
Atleast that’s what i tell myself month on month ...
                                                                                               -- The fallen hero

"The guy who invented poker was brilliant,
but the guy who invented the chips was a genius"

"You laugh at me because I am different, 
but I can make you laugh because you are all the same"

"It takes 2 minutes for a stopped clock to be right in a day,
the remaining 1,438 minutes of that day, it is wrong"

"A war doesn't determine who is right...
                                        determines who is left"

"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce"

"a 100% man, at some point in his life, had 99% in his blood

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good, is like in the jungle expecting a hungry lion to not to eat you because you are a vegetarian"

"If practice makes perfect and nobody is perfect...
                                                                  ...then why practice"

Anything you say will be held against you... " tits "

Don't drink & park..!!
    Accidents cause people.

I'm leaving now to go find myself, if i should return before i get back, please ask me to wait...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Agenda : Yours, Theirs & Mine...

187.5ml of DSP black down, Felt nice, a little tipsy, but felt really good
and then it happened...
Aaj maine socha… ki hindi main bolu…Achcha laga, and why not…?? Kyun nahi…
Aaj maine desi daru pi hain…?? Agar aisa aapko lagta hain.. Toh aap bilkul galat hain…
Abhi Abhi, Paanch minute pehle mujhme BHARTIYAPAN ( hindi pun intented) jaaga hain…
kyunki aaj Mujhme ek  bhartiya bhoot prakat hua hain…
Main bhartiya bhoot,  maa ki chooth (phew).

Our cops didn't even get his name right in the first place..!!
Will complete two years soon, and still the case goes on...
The news read as
"The trial of Kasab : The lone surviving gun-man from the Mumbai attacks killing 166 people"
Lone surviving gun-man.... maa ki chooth...!!

Kasab was charged with 86 offences, including murder and waging war on India,
In a trial in which the prosecution planned to produce more than 1,800 witnesses
and 750 pieces of evidence.
All this happened 2 years ago. Today... Nothing.
Below is the list of that basterds name as appeared in the media
Ajmal Kasab, Azam Amir Kasav, Ajmal Qasab, Ajmal Amir Kamal, Ajmal Amir Kasab, Azam Ameer Qasab, Mohammad Ajmal Qasam, Ajmal Mohammed Amir Kasab, Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasarb, Amjad Amir Kamaal, Mohammed Ajmal Amir Qasab
and the list goes on and on... but do we even care to remember...
The names of the 3 top-cops who died that day..??
No. No we don't, not because we don't care,
But because media didn't hammer it in our brain-dead heads... again and again.
But we remember Kasab. because media did just that... Hammering the brain-dead head.

One boy, so many names, seems like some juvenile magician... and Kasab truly is one
killing more than 150 indians, on indian soil and is still alive on indian soil,
Perfectly fit and fine in indian police custody...!!

The indian government is spending about 8.5 lakhs per day, to keep him alive.
That is almost more than 60 crores so far and still counting.
Living in a third world poor country with issues like dowry, sati and farmer suicides.
I, The fallenhero, have a take on this... A Personal Agenda. A Propoganda.

Fuck kasab…
Fuck terrorism and all those promote it
Fuck all those powerful pople who oppose it and do nothing about it
Fuck  all those weak people who light candles mourning all the lost lives….
Fuck all the remaining people for watching this shit live on tv
Fuck all the media who covers the event
Fuck all the tv channels who telecast it live
Fuck the 72 Virgins
Fuck all of us for causing this situation, in the first place. Period.

It's not that i am a pro-fucking guy.  This is my agenda.... in black and white
Par yeh sab hamara kiya karaya hain...
So basically, Fuck me...
Hey, but i am the one who always gets fucked, from the front, from the back, both ways, any which ways.
I am the original, ekdum one 100% ... aapka apna The fallen hero.

I am not sad about it, a little annoyed, but definitely not crying.
Definitely not standing in the rain with candles lit for the dead.
The rain extinguishes the dim flame, extinguishing with it the hope of peace.
Then the next day people get angry, they agitate, hold demonstrations, morcha, mumbai bandh... They are the fighters for peace....

"Fighting for peace is like fucking to get back virginity..."

Arre chootiyo, that is exactly what they want...
They want  all of us to fight, so that one by one all of us die....
and they win...
Win back whatever the fuck they want.... if they know it in the first place that is.
This is their agenda..!!

Media Coverage.... let's not even get into that...!!
Hundreds of people dying of starvation, young girls forced into prostitution... etc etc..
Nobody cares a fuck...!!
Kasab wants to eat bakra for eid... and it's on the front page...!!

With so many smart assholes all around us, farting, shitting, babbling, dabbling and debating, having innumerable conversations on this topic and still no solution.
So many articles, views, blogs on this shit and still nobody knows a solution to it.
And still then, this fallen hero here, writes about the age-old problem of terrorism..,again.
Am i a dumb asshole, Probably i am drunk.
Drunk big time, sloshed, bamboozled.
Drunk in hindi. Drunk in my mother tongue.
Probably i am not...
But definitely i feel for my country, for all the innocent people who lost their lives.
But i just fell sorry, annoyed, dejected and am not gonna do anything about it,
And that's exactly what is getting me all fucked up in my head and hence, i write again...

I know that after this take of mine….

The fallen hero : plunge 
(that's the title of my new book and be aware, there will be some new shit in it too)

This book will never release…
But after all I never anticipated to release this book…
I am an underdog… remember… The fallen hero…
Everyone wants to see and hear about the hero..
Nobody wants to hear about a loser…
Not saying that i am a loser… but just a fallen hero…
My country India, with a population crossing a whopping 1.2 Billion
There are millions like me in this country. millions of fallen heroes...
And if each one of you , just buy a single copy of this book…
I am a millionaire already….
Something which I have not achieved already….
I am fuckin lying….
I promised myself that I will not lie here… Not atleast in this blog.

"For you it's just a blog, for me it's my life..."

My life has been all about lies….
I made it all up…
That’s all I can make up…Lies…
I made up all these stories..What The Fuck… Why am I lying here..??
I made all the stories…I open my mouth and there's a lie, ready to be spit out..!!
I am even lying here…. About what I'm stating that I am lying….
But I never lied to you….I never lied….
I never lied tonight…. I meant it….
What The Fuck… whenever drunk… the true me comes out…
I am at loss of words here…. B’coz yeh baat mere dil ki baat hain…

Samjho in baton ko…. Aur isse khareedo… buy the book..!!

What the fuck am i doing..??  what point am i trying to make here..??
It started with me getting drunk as usual, then me getting inspired by my country and blogging in hindi, then kasab, terorism, how terrorism is fucked, how everybody is fucked, how everybody is fucking my country, people with dim lit candles in rain remembering the lost ones, my hate for the media, my love for the country, my book, pleading all the fallen heroes to buy my book, my addiction to lies, pleading all of you to buy my book and then forgeting everything as if everything is back to normal again.

Get the point.
Everyone has an agenda, for personal gratification.
Atleast i have the balls to put mine in black and white...

What's your agenda..??

Think about it...
Take care n good night...sleep tight.
Will Rise tommorrow,
but as for now, just The fallen hero.

Friday, August 27, 2010


Just happen to see the the video today which started it all…
Not the fallen hero legacy, but me sitting down and scripting the fallen hero prophecies.

That's when it all started…
A couple of years back. When i was in the call center, working as a junior rep.
I met her..
Young, very charismatic, full of enthusiasm, full of curves.
She was like one of those latina chicks.
Dark, curvaceous, full of life and full of flesh.
I, on the other hand, recovering from a series of failed relationships, instantly fell for her.
Then i came to know her better. What she had gone through...
Both of us, oblivious to the fact of what she would soon be going through with me..

This is how i would describe her in 42 alphabets.... (detailed analysis, coming soon...)
Married at 18, birth of 1st child at 19, Divorced at 20

And standing there all in black, from the top to bottom.
This is how i would describe her in 1 word....

Right in front of me at age 21. All optimistic and full of energy...
A wife without a husband, a child without a father, a wedding gown gone waste
along with the dreams of living a happy married life.
All gone, vanished, invisibalised, dissaperared into thin air.
Social trauma, family distress, peer pressure... let's not even get into that.
It would take great courage to face that.
For me to face her, and for her to face the world. All alone.

And that's exactly where i entered into her life.

I gave her my shoulder, where she could rest her head on,
when my other hand went behind her back.

I gave her my hand, when she needed support,
and my lips kissed her on the neck.

I wiped the tears from her eyes when she used to cry
but my eyes were only on her curves.

It's not as if i used her...
She wanted someone, something beside her.
And i used to be there for her.
She enjoyed my company, because i, unlike her ex-husband, used to listen to her,
cuddle her, give her attention, basically showed her that i loved her.
But actually, i didn't,
I had my own personal agenda here.
I wanted her physically, and we had the opportunity a lot of times.
But i couldn't just do it.
Something inside me stopped us from doing it.
It was a very unusual feeling.
You know something like, you always want something, and you work very hard for it
and then you finally are on the verge of getting it and then you blow it all up because
something inside you, tells you.... "No, this is not right"
and you just want that thing to get the fuck outof your mind, but  it dosen't.

Annoyed, dissapointed, dissatisfied and frustrated
started the drinking problem.....Again.
I used to get drunk, that's when i understood the meaning of chronic alcoholism.
After getting piss drunk, completely out of my senses.
My hand used to reach for my phone and I used to call her and talk shit.
This used to usually start at 2 or 3 am, early morning, infact, very early morning
And used to go uptil about 4 or 5 am. I used to talk absolute non-sense. gibberish.
It was like i was in my dream.

"Remember the time when i asked you to come and stay with me. Where i would make sure that you would have everything you ever dreamt of and be the happiest woman ever and the only thing i asked in return was that you keep your son in the boarding school, somewhere far, away from us".

The only thing..??
That was probably everything for you.
On one side was her baby boy and on the other side was a fairy tale story with me the fallen hero being her knight in shining armour. She only had one choice to make. One chance to take.

One call, Fold or All in.
She tapped her fingers and Checked....

I dunno what her motive was.

That's exactly why i am a fallen hero.
Just Imagine....
Firstly i disturb her peace of mind in the middle of the night,
Then i fight with her and verbally abuse her,
Then i apologize to her and give her a sweet chocolate by promising to be with her and
love her through out my life till death part us apart..... huh.
Then i ask her to part ways with her son.
and then i think
" Why is she listening to me, why is she doing this for me
What could her motive be...?? "

I still fail to understand what was her motive behind taking all that shit from me.
Not once, not twice, but week after week, month after month.
This went on for years...

I used to crib, then fight, then probably cry… definitely cry…
And she,  I still dunno how,  used make me quiet
and put me to sleep…right there talking over the phone.

Just like  a mother, putting  her crying, wailing, baby back to sleep…
I dunno how, the fallen hero still questions
But then, of all the people, the mother always knows.
And she was  one of the best mothers on this side of the planet.
The fallen hero can vouch for that.

I was like her second baby, always whinning, always demanding…
But never understanding.
I never understood….
Maybe I never tried, maybe we never tried.
Maybe there was no point in trying…
But deep down...
and that’s not deep down enough, cause I don’t go down there,
Infact, haven’t been down there since 2005. Anyways….
She understood me...

I always crack jokes, I always laugh when there is a sad moment
I always kill it. I always kill it with a gag….

Kill me black...

But somehow she went… far away… atleast that’s what I tell myself..
I know that she is just 10 numbers away, but then it would be 100% wouldn’t it
And that would kill the fallen hero… I said kill me black… not kill the fallen hero.

Nobody can kill the fallen hero…. Because the legacy will continue…

Because whenever a black will disappear and the so called, self proclaimed hero has no one to call to, to talk to, to cry infront of, to crib, to fight, and to let go of all his stress and tensions, somebody will continue the fallen hero legacy..

For every fallen hero, that exists in this world,
There is a black, somewhere close by.
And they shall never-ever be together.
Because of the fallen hero gets his black then he got what he wanted...Right..??
And then it would be one hundred percent, which would exclude him from being a fallen hero.
because the hero has fallen because he was 99% somewhere... sometime.

Now, do you get it….Do u get the fallen hero….

I didn’t make him, he was already there…
I just revived him…

The fallen hero….
99% is in my blood….

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Fallenisms : August 2010

Fallenisms is a completely non original piece of dark side of the human satire or otherwise. Copied, ripped, pirated, flicked, translated, hacked, derived, assumed and imitated short takes on life through the eyes of the fallen hero…
Nothing is original, Not even me,
Atleast that’s what I tell myself…
                                                             -- The fallen hero

"I am a joker, most men play with two balls,
                                       i juggle with three..."

 "Fighting for peace is like fucking to get back virginity"

                 "Rarely does a loose woman
                                                   have a tight pussy"

                               An I for an I means that there is only me…

     "Jiska Baap Ek Uski Baat Ek..."

"Commitment is not an answer to a successful relationship,
                                          it’s the question, the answer is NO"

Saturday, August 21, 2010

DSP Black, Thums Up..!!

It took me a 187.5ml of DSP Black and 800ml of Thums up to unveil the concept of the fallen hero. Ironically, It was highly appreciated, by a person, highly oblivious to the concept of alcohol.

It's so difficult to type after drinking. Typing on a 10” lenovo S10 is such a pain. I so need a bigger and better computer. But then, everybody needs so much more. Life is all about wants. Listening to this track, lying on my bed, with the lenovo on my tummy. so clean after such a long time, not the tummy, the bed. Finally, as if the wife had  appeared after some magic. My life seemed so perfect. All of us, always have something or the other to crib about, but I have none.

Because after all the buck stops here. Got another 16 months to go before it all stops here at my desk. All right things are supposed to happen, and all wrongs lead to me. I am the most overpaid person here. One slip on my side makes me lalit modi, but I handle this million dollar baby.

I hope you understand sweetheart, coz one of us has to and I haven’t...
You could be d*****, but you definitely are not. Not at least now.
I could have done it. How difficult was it..??  had it  not been difficult, then it was not love in the first place. But maybe it was never love. Probably because we never expressed it. Maybe it was love from my side. Maybe from my side it was just an excuse. To get rid of relationships, by comparing every other woman that came my way, to you, an imaginary person, who actually existed... in my dreams…
D***** this is for you…
99% is in my blood… and somehow, before everyone, you sensed it...

I didn’t miss you
I didn’t cry
Pain did not kill me
Just made me tougher

It is what it is,
It is what it is meant to be
It is what it will be
It is what we all shall see...

I dunno why,…. But after all these years…
After all those relationships, all those commitments, all those wasted years and the mangalsutra.
I dunno why my heart goes out to you, I dunno what it is about you…
One word…….. D******…… or is it the….. shall end it here, half way through.
It was getting interesting wasn’t it……
Probably not..!!

That’s always the way it is…
Coz’ 99% is in my blood.

Friday, August 20, 2010

It's where it all started...

99% is in my blood.

I have this dream, it may be true…
But after all life is a dream… and for some it does comes true.
Probably even for me…but not for the fallen hero.

I am on a mountain.
Beautiful and serene, lush green with the aroma of freedom.
It was tough getting up here.
Beat all odds to reach here on top. Now, enjoying every breath of it.
Oblivious to what I had left behind, much below.
There is great turmoil below. politics galore. Good vs bad. Innocent vs the guilty.
That’s when I first looked down.
Realizing what I had left behind, realizing where I had come from, realizing that there were innocent people below with their arms stretched upwards, looking up to me. Looking up to be where I was.
At that moment, i was like their savior.
It was me who could save the innocent from being overpowered by the guilty.
The hands stretched upwards for help. Help from the guilty, help from the person who had made the innocent guilty and had given the guilty the power to overpower the innocent.
Help is all they asked for, one by one before they succumbed to the guilty.
Help is what I wanted to give; I had to stop it somewhere. I had to put an end to this misery.
How difficult is it when you are up there and have the power to bring them up to you
or leave them down there.
I left them… down there….

One last time, they asked for my help…. I didn’t

The fallen hero…
99% is in my blood….

Prelude to the fallen hero

It all started in 2002, been almost eight years now.
But feels as if it all just happened yesterday.
Outside college, smoking with friends, the unexpected appearance,
the sudden disappearance, the last rickshaw, the bus ride home.
That's when i experienced my 1st debacle. the first time i had a fall.
Since then, year on year, one experience after the other and the time and again
it started piling up.. until the time i thought  "hey loser..!! why not sit down and write it up..."

I started writing thing down, experience, incidents, occurrences, observations
as to how the failed always fail.. again and again.
I believe it is not luck or destiny which defines success or failure, but it is in my hands
to decide my fate... but how much time do i have in hand...

Disclaimer : What the fallen hero is not..!!

  • The fallen hero is not some fantasy character who will win eventually and everyone will stand up and clap loud after paying through their noses earlier for the multiplex ticket and popcorn.
  • The fallen hero is not a motivational character who will motivate those, down with "demovitatilitis". People sulking about how life was ungrateful to them and how they missed the last train and had to piss on the tracks.
  • The fallen hero is not some fictional guy i dreamt up about after having crabs for dinner.
  • The fallen hero is not someone, you will not identify with.

Then who is this guy......??

The fallen hero is just a plain simple guy, who wanted to be something, but couldn't do it....
he had his up's & down's. high's & low's, he used to be sad after every debacle, but eventually he realised that it's not all that bad down here. Here, where all the other fallen heroes reside. Practically everywhere.
As per my economics, for every hero there are about 27,02,1982 fallen heroes across the world.
Strange isn't it. and the irony is that nobody writes about them.
There is not a single  movie o a book,
Not even a damn website about those who tried and lost....
So here i am, this fallen hero here,
blogging everyday occurrences, experiences, incidents
through the eyes of the fallen hero.

About : 99% is in my blood
Every person wants to give 100%
In sales, we might be forced or compelled to give 110%,
but usually when we fall down, before standing up again,
if we analyze the situation ourselves, lying there on the ground, we shall realise that we did
not put our 100%. There was an iota of lesser effort from our side in whatever endeavour
we were engaged in or pursuing.

This happens first time. After repeated such falling down instances, we usually get used to it,
and half-heartedly try again to get up, try not to get noticed, try not to be a laughing stock again, try not
to fall again... but in vain, we never get up again....
and 99% get's in our blood.

We try very very hard not to fail...
but we never try 100% to win.

Warm Regards,
The Fallen hero
99% is in my blood.