Sunday, September 19, 2010

Relevance to Reality : September 2010

Somewhere deep under water...

This is my first post on "Relevance to reality"
From now on, it will be a regular feature on this blog.
Relevance to reality will be posted once a month. every month.
(Mostly last Sunday of the month. please check the "what to expect this month" section)

Here, i will blog reality.
current issues, contemporary concerns
Some questions answered, some answers without any explainable questions.
Something by the youth, of the youth, for the youth.
Fuck the youth.
The GenNext wants to fuck you, fuck them before you get fucked.
A simple question.
Questions always kept me from progressing in school,
excelling in college and growing excelling and progressing altogether in life....
Basically becoming a hero. A hero, which everyone dreams of becoming one fine day...
One fuckin fine day, you wanna get up and have the answer all the fuckin questions.
Start here...
Why do people ask questions. That is your first question and your journey begins here...
Questions like...
what is  the meaning of life...?? why are we on this earth...??
Such questions never interested me. To shallow or maybe they were just too deep for me.
Maybe they were too big for me, maybe i was too big for my boots.
I have always cared two hoots... oh fuck... or shall i say oh fish.

When i was a kid, verbal abuses were a big taboo. We weren't permitted to say oh fuck,
It was considered very abusive.
Although, oh fish..! was allowed. This term "oh fish" was perfectly alright.
It didn't mean anything, maybe just a reference or rememberance to some fuckin fish.
Was verbally harmless and so..... oh fish remained...

I am a keen aquarist, i love keeping fish, breeding them, caring for them...
I also love eating them, they are delicious. Basically i love fish
I believe in The Maximum Utilisation of the Available Resources.
If i love 'em, i love 'em. If i have to use 'em, i will use 'em. Simple.
I am a Piscean.
Timid, Sweet, Slicky, Very Sippery & Very Cold-blooded.
Just like a fish. oh fish...!!
Even my Murder is like margarine, and my con is cute, Cute but Cold Blooded.
And i always manage to slip, As slippery as a fish.
I don't mind conning a cancer patient. As long as my art is appreciated.
The Art of Con.
They say you can't trust a Cat, a Lawyer, an ex-wife, a Boss, yourself..... and a fish.

I have had a couple of drinks tonite and a couple of fish tanks in my lifetime.
Gold-fish, flowerhorn, guppies, malawi cichilids, green terror, jewel chichilid,
Pakistani Loach, Ramarosie... had em all...!! had old monk thums up tonite
Angels and Discus..... hate them.. and i hate Fosters beer.
Too slow and majestic for me.
I need something real. Fuck Fosters beer.

One Real Question.
Ask this question to yourself, Alone.
I have been taking interviews since last 4 years and i am just 28 now.
28 running but  little tired now, becoming a little slow now.
Started a little young you see...!!
One fuckin question.

Would you be a rather be a big fish in a small pond
or a small fish in a big pond ?

A young boy, fresh out of college, big dreams, but one dilema, getting the first job...!!
His first break, his career cracker.
" you will not ever earn more than 4,000 per month as your first job"
" Arre, This is what Bsc third class graduates get. You should have done engineering..!!"
" You had all the chances in the world and you messed it up"
"You and only you are to be blamed for this"
"Clerk, clerk in a bank" , " Sales executive" , " " Medical representative"
This is what he had heard in the last three days since his board exams had finished.

"One lakh thirty four thousand a year without incentives....
With incentives you can earn upto four thousand more a month... but that depends....
on your performance"

These were the exact words he had heard after his first actual interview,
The interviewer said in a very soft and confident tone,
after the interview at Intelenet global services back in 2004.
He was asked this same question and since then this question had stayed with him.
"Would you rather be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond ? "

"I would rather own the pond",  i had answered, back then.
A chance to be somewhere deep underwater, i chose to remain at the shore...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Fallenisms : September 2010

Fallenisms is a completely non original piece of dark side of the human satire or otherwise. Copied, ripped, pirated, flicked, translated, hacked, derived, assumed and imitated short takes on life through the eyes of the fallen hero…
Nothing is original, Not even me.
Atleast that’s what i tell myself month on month ...
                                                                                               -- The fallen hero

"The guy who invented poker was brilliant,
but the guy who invented the chips was a genius"

"You laugh at me because I am different, 
but I can make you laugh because you are all the same"

"It takes 2 minutes for a stopped clock to be right in a day,
the remaining 1,438 minutes of that day, it is wrong"

"A war doesn't determine who is right...
                                        determines who is left"

"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce"

"a 100% man, at some point in his life, had 99% in his blood

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good, is like in the jungle expecting a hungry lion to not to eat you because you are a vegetarian"

"If practice makes perfect and nobody is perfect...
                                                                  ...then why practice"

Anything you say will be held against you... " tits "

Don't drink & park..!!
    Accidents cause people.

I'm leaving now to go find myself, if i should return before i get back, please ask me to wait...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Agenda : Yours, Theirs & Mine...

187.5ml of DSP black down, Felt nice, a little tipsy, but felt really good
and then it happened...
Aaj maine socha… ki hindi main bolu…Achcha laga, and why not…?? Kyun nahi…
Aaj maine desi daru pi hain…?? Agar aisa aapko lagta hain.. Toh aap bilkul galat hain…
Abhi Abhi, Paanch minute pehle mujhme BHARTIYAPAN ( hindi pun intented) jaaga hain…
kyunki aaj Mujhme ek  bhartiya bhoot prakat hua hain…
Main bhartiya bhoot,  maa ki chooth (phew).

Our cops didn't even get his name right in the first place..!!
Will complete two years soon, and still the case goes on...
The news read as
"The trial of Kasab : The lone surviving gun-man from the Mumbai attacks killing 166 people"
Lone surviving gun-man.... maa ki chooth...!!

Kasab was charged with 86 offences, including murder and waging war on India,
In a trial in which the prosecution planned to produce more than 1,800 witnesses
and 750 pieces of evidence.
All this happened 2 years ago. Today... Nothing.
Below is the list of that basterds name as appeared in the media
Ajmal Kasab, Azam Amir Kasav, Ajmal Qasab, Ajmal Amir Kamal, Ajmal Amir Kasab, Azam Ameer Qasab, Mohammad Ajmal Qasam, Ajmal Mohammed Amir Kasab, Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasarb, Amjad Amir Kamaal, Mohammed Ajmal Amir Qasab
and the list goes on and on... but do we even care to remember...
The names of the 3 top-cops who died that day..??
No. No we don't, not because we don't care,
But because media didn't hammer it in our brain-dead heads... again and again.
But we remember Kasab. because media did just that... Hammering the brain-dead head.

One boy, so many names, seems like some juvenile magician... and Kasab truly is one
killing more than 150 indians, on indian soil and is still alive on indian soil,
Perfectly fit and fine in indian police custody...!!

The indian government is spending about 8.5 lakhs per day, to keep him alive.
That is almost more than 60 crores so far and still counting.
Living in a third world poor country with issues like dowry, sati and farmer suicides.
I, The fallenhero, have a take on this... A Personal Agenda. A Propoganda.

Fuck kasab…
Fuck terrorism and all those promote it
Fuck all those powerful pople who oppose it and do nothing about it
Fuck  all those weak people who light candles mourning all the lost lives….
Fuck all the remaining people for watching this shit live on tv
Fuck all the media who covers the event
Fuck all the tv channels who telecast it live
Fuck the 72 Virgins
Fuck all of us for causing this situation, in the first place. Period.

It's not that i am a pro-fucking guy.  This is my agenda.... in black and white
Par yeh sab hamara kiya karaya hain...
So basically, Fuck me...
Hey, but i am the one who always gets fucked, from the front, from the back, both ways, any which ways.
I am the original, ekdum one 100% ... aapka apna The fallen hero.

I am not sad about it, a little annoyed, but definitely not crying.
Definitely not standing in the rain with candles lit for the dead.
The rain extinguishes the dim flame, extinguishing with it the hope of peace.
Then the next day people get angry, they agitate, hold demonstrations, morcha, mumbai bandh... They are the fighters for peace....

"Fighting for peace is like fucking to get back virginity..."

Arre chootiyo, that is exactly what they want...
They want  all of us to fight, so that one by one all of us die....
and they win...
Win back whatever the fuck they want.... if they know it in the first place that is.
This is their agenda..!!

Media Coverage.... let's not even get into that...!!
Hundreds of people dying of starvation, young girls forced into prostitution... etc etc..
Nobody cares a fuck...!!
Kasab wants to eat bakra for eid... and it's on the front page...!!

With so many smart assholes all around us, farting, shitting, babbling, dabbling and debating, having innumerable conversations on this topic and still no solution.
So many articles, views, blogs on this shit and still nobody knows a solution to it.
And still then, this fallen hero here, writes about the age-old problem of terrorism..,again.
Am i a dumb asshole, Probably i am drunk.
Drunk big time, sloshed, bamboozled.
Drunk in hindi. Drunk in my mother tongue.
Probably i am not...
But definitely i feel for my country, for all the innocent people who lost their lives.
But i just fell sorry, annoyed, dejected and am not gonna do anything about it,
And that's exactly what is getting me all fucked up in my head and hence, i write again...

I know that after this take of mine….

The fallen hero : plunge 
(that's the title of my new book and be aware, there will be some new shit in it too)

This book will never release…
But after all I never anticipated to release this book…
I am an underdog… remember… The fallen hero…
Everyone wants to see and hear about the hero..
Nobody wants to hear about a loser…
Not saying that i am a loser… but just a fallen hero…
My country India, with a population crossing a whopping 1.2 Billion
There are millions like me in this country. millions of fallen heroes...
And if each one of you , just buy a single copy of this book…
I am a millionaire already….
Something which I have not achieved already….
I am fuckin lying….
I promised myself that I will not lie here… Not atleast in this blog.

"For you it's just a blog, for me it's my life..."

My life has been all about lies….
I made it all up…
That’s all I can make up…Lies…
I made up all these stories..What The Fuck… Why am I lying here..??
I made all the stories…I open my mouth and there's a lie, ready to be spit out..!!
I am even lying here…. About what I'm stating that I am lying….
But I never lied to you….I never lied….
I never lied tonight…. I meant it….
What The Fuck… whenever drunk… the true me comes out…
I am at loss of words here…. B’coz yeh baat mere dil ki baat hain…

Samjho in baton ko…. Aur isse khareedo… buy the book..!!

What the fuck am i doing..??  what point am i trying to make here..??
It started with me getting drunk as usual, then me getting inspired by my country and blogging in hindi, then kasab, terorism, how terrorism is fucked, how everybody is fucked, how everybody is fucking my country, people with dim lit candles in rain remembering the lost ones, my hate for the media, my love for the country, my book, pleading all the fallen heroes to buy my book, my addiction to lies, pleading all of you to buy my book and then forgeting everything as if everything is back to normal again.

Get the point.
Everyone has an agenda, for personal gratification.
Atleast i have the balls to put mine in black and white...

What's your agenda..??

Think about it...
Take care n good night...sleep tight.
Will Rise tommorrow,
but as for now, just The fallen hero.