Friday, August 27, 2010


Just happen to see the the video today which started it all…
Not the fallen hero legacy, but me sitting down and scripting the fallen hero prophecies.

That's when it all started…
A couple of years back. When i was in the call center, working as a junior rep.
I met her..
Young, very charismatic, full of enthusiasm, full of curves.
She was like one of those latina chicks.
Dark, curvaceous, full of life and full of flesh.
I, on the other hand, recovering from a series of failed relationships, instantly fell for her.
Then i came to know her better. What she had gone through...
Both of us, oblivious to the fact of what she would soon be going through with me..

This is how i would describe her in 42 alphabets.... (detailed analysis, coming soon...)
Married at 18, birth of 1st child at 19, Divorced at 20

And standing there all in black, from the top to bottom.
This is how i would describe her in 1 word....

Right in front of me at age 21. All optimistic and full of energy...
A wife without a husband, a child without a father, a wedding gown gone waste
along with the dreams of living a happy married life.
All gone, vanished, invisibalised, dissaperared into thin air.
Social trauma, family distress, peer pressure... let's not even get into that.
It would take great courage to face that.
For me to face her, and for her to face the world. All alone.

And that's exactly where i entered into her life.

I gave her my shoulder, where she could rest her head on,
when my other hand went behind her back.

I gave her my hand, when she needed support,
and my lips kissed her on the neck.

I wiped the tears from her eyes when she used to cry
but my eyes were only on her curves.

It's not as if i used her...
She wanted someone, something beside her.
And i used to be there for her.
She enjoyed my company, because i, unlike her ex-husband, used to listen to her,
cuddle her, give her attention, basically showed her that i loved her.
But actually, i didn't,
I had my own personal agenda here.
I wanted her physically, and we had the opportunity a lot of times.
But i couldn't just do it.
Something inside me stopped us from doing it.
It was a very unusual feeling.
You know something like, you always want something, and you work very hard for it
and then you finally are on the verge of getting it and then you blow it all up because
something inside you, tells you.... "No, this is not right"
and you just want that thing to get the fuck outof your mind, but  it dosen't.

Annoyed, dissapointed, dissatisfied and frustrated
started the drinking problem.....Again.
I used to get drunk, that's when i understood the meaning of chronic alcoholism.
After getting piss drunk, completely out of my senses.
My hand used to reach for my phone and I used to call her and talk shit.
This used to usually start at 2 or 3 am, early morning, infact, very early morning
And used to go uptil about 4 or 5 am. I used to talk absolute non-sense. gibberish.
It was like i was in my dream.

"Remember the time when i asked you to come and stay with me. Where i would make sure that you would have everything you ever dreamt of and be the happiest woman ever and the only thing i asked in return was that you keep your son in the boarding school, somewhere far, away from us".

The only thing..??
That was probably everything for you.
On one side was her baby boy and on the other side was a fairy tale story with me the fallen hero being her knight in shining armour. She only had one choice to make. One chance to take.

One call, Fold or All in.
She tapped her fingers and Checked....

I dunno what her motive was.

That's exactly why i am a fallen hero.
Just Imagine....
Firstly i disturb her peace of mind in the middle of the night,
Then i fight with her and verbally abuse her,
Then i apologize to her and give her a sweet chocolate by promising to be with her and
love her through out my life till death part us apart..... huh.
Then i ask her to part ways with her son.
and then i think
" Why is she listening to me, why is she doing this for me
What could her motive be...?? "

I still fail to understand what was her motive behind taking all that shit from me.
Not once, not twice, but week after week, month after month.
This went on for years...

I used to crib, then fight, then probably cry… definitely cry…
And she,  I still dunno how,  used make me quiet
and put me to sleep…right there talking over the phone.

Just like  a mother, putting  her crying, wailing, baby back to sleep…
I dunno how, the fallen hero still questions
But then, of all the people, the mother always knows.
And she was  one of the best mothers on this side of the planet.
The fallen hero can vouch for that.

I was like her second baby, always whinning, always demanding…
But never understanding.
I never understood….
Maybe I never tried, maybe we never tried.
Maybe there was no point in trying…
But deep down...
and that’s not deep down enough, cause I don’t go down there,
Infact, haven’t been down there since 2005. Anyways….
She understood me...

I always crack jokes, I always laugh when there is a sad moment
I always kill it. I always kill it with a gag….

Kill me black...

But somehow she went… far away… atleast that’s what I tell myself..
I know that she is just 10 numbers away, but then it would be 100% wouldn’t it
And that would kill the fallen hero… I said kill me black… not kill the fallen hero.

Nobody can kill the fallen hero…. Because the legacy will continue…

Because whenever a black will disappear and the so called, self proclaimed hero has no one to call to, to talk to, to cry infront of, to crib, to fight, and to let go of all his stress and tensions, somebody will continue the fallen hero legacy..

For every fallen hero, that exists in this world,
There is a black, somewhere close by.
And they shall never-ever be together.
Because of the fallen hero gets his black then he got what he wanted...Right..??
And then it would be one hundred percent, which would exclude him from being a fallen hero.
because the hero has fallen because he was 99% somewhere... sometime.

Now, do you get it….Do u get the fallen hero….

I didn’t make him, he was already there…
I just revived him…

The fallen hero….
99% is in my blood….


  1. Some day you would wish....Black would come back...

  2. Firstly, Thanks for your comments..!!!
    I definitely wish, black would come back,
    but then it would be 100% wouldn't it..??
    which would kill the fallen hero.
    I had said, Kill me black...
    not kill the fallen hero....

  3. that's interesting
    might i make a suggestion: maybe instead of one long one, make a more little ones? my eyes hurt from all the scrolling text :p

    good job though

  4. Thank you for your comments RainbowEmo.
    Will take your suggestion into consideration,
    the next time i upload a post.

  5. a lot of conflict or say illusion in your writing pattern>>>> disbelief and disconnect. but impressive work

  6. Thanks anonymous person, being disconnected and disbelieving but still managing an impressive work tag. I am nice, ain't i, or maybe i am not...

    for 99% shall always be in my blood.

  7. alot can be said or experienced on life but a lot of courage to actually pin down the thoughts.. U r good even ur piece on 13,end was silly but i got engrossed with the format ...


  8. I am black and i shall never come back